When I was in Junior High School (secondary school), there was this one math teacher, who actually cried because the class was too much for her. Of course, she wasn't sobbing but she would shed some tears, which actually I never saw, my friends just told me she cried. At that time, I thought she was kinda a cry-baby.
Today, finally a boy managed to make me shed some tears. Luckily not in the class, I could still compose myself then. But afterwards, I did so-called cry. I guess, given better time and place, I would have sobbed more. Really felt like having a good cry.
The thing was, under the circumstances, I supposed to feel angry but instead I felt sad. I don't understand why. In a way, I even felt guilty. Even so, I'm pretty sure the boy wouldn't appreciate how I feel. Such a diva attitude. I don't know why the school allows the kids to have such a diva-ish attitude. Come on, you may end up becoming nothing (though I hope not).
After analyzing it more, I guess I felt sad because when this boy walked out, I knew that I couldn't reach him and he is lost forever. Some kids can say stupid things but we can still make a connection and they will in a way listen, but this boy...I couldn't give you anything. First post shouldn't be this sad :'(
As the end of 2011 was approaching, I was thinking of stuff (as many people perhaps did) and of course the question of new year's resolution made its way into my head. I am not one who ever did that. I don't understand the need for it - If you wanna do something, just do it. However as the days were ending, a thought came that I should list all the nice things that happened in each of my days in 2012. It first came to me that I should tweet it everyday or put it in my Facebook status - show a little positivity to the world. Then I realized, I might be in places where I'll have no internet access. So I bought a thin cute book to list everything and I decided I would blog it at the end of each month. That somewhat became my new year's resolution. As not interesting as it may sound, I thought it would be a good practice to dig deep into my shitty days (which I am sure will exist) and see something, anything, at least one thing nice that happened that day. So if these entries are boring, I'm sorry (I'm sorry too if I'm tardy in posting). For some people, they may put things like got married, saw my baby for the first time, got proposed, etc. If it's me, perhaps the nicest thing was a chocolate bar, but then perhaps you can sense how sucky my day was that a chocolate bar was the nicest thing that happened to me :) Some days the nicest things will send me grinning from the inside, some days they will just stop me from crying, but those are my life in 2012, I suppose :)
PS: I did use this blog to talk about stuff long ago. I decided not to delete the entries. To read a more sobering view of my life, you can go here.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Saturday, October 01, 2005
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